Hello, friends! Did you give up on us? Stacy and I have had a super busy summer. Blogging just was not on the table for either of us. However, we will try our best to make time for our blog. I do miss writing for you! I know Stacy misses the blog, as well!
Today’s post came to me this past Saturday. You know how Facebook will post your memories for you to view and share? I do not have the app that automatically posts them for me but anytime one of my friends shares a memory, I always click on “see your memories.” I love seeing baby pics of my boys and wishing they were still small and super cuddly instead of being somewhat cuddly big boys. On Saturday this picture was in my memories:
So. Many. Feelings. First of all, I LOVE this picture. It was taken after a boot camp class. Our trainer pushes us hard. That picture shows our hard work. It was not given to us. We earned it. Second, notice the rock tape on my arm? Yep, that means it was right before I had my MRI done and found out I had a tear in that elbow. If I were to guess, this was probably one of my last classes with bootcamp before I had to go on my forever long restrictions. I miss those muscles. Yes, that statement is completely vain but it is the honest truth. I miss my muscles. I miss being ripped. Now, let me tell you a little secret. That picture was taken right after a hard shoulder/back work out. Our muscles were jacked at that moment. You know all of those beautifully ripped gym pics you see? Yep, not taken at the beginning of a work out. Most people take pictures like this one at the end of a work out when their muscles are still activated. My point in telling you that tidbit of info? Do not compare yourself to pictures you see on the internet. There are a ton of tricks to make things look especially nice. Don’t get me wrong, those muscles you see exist but they look BETTER after you have worked them.
Funny that I tell you to not compare yourself to others because I am having a very hard time not comparing myself to my gym buddies right now. I have just recently started joining bootcamp here and there again and I am hurting. It is the kind of class where you feel a difference if you have missed a few days of class. Imagine missing 10ish months. I feel like I am dying during class. It is like being a beginner all over again. I hate it. I am struggling with weight that used to be easy while my classmates have progressed so beautifully. They have the lean, ripped muscles that I want back. Their endurance is much stronger than mine during our work outs. Yes, I know that I am too hard on myself. There is literally no way I could come back and pick up exactly where I left off but it still drives me crazy.
I also still feel very broken. My elbow is not a concern for me anymore. Yes, I do have limitations with it. I will probably always have limitations with my elbow. However, I have learned how to adapt and work through my elbow issues. Within the first couple of months of my lifting restrictions, I had a freak out in my hip. We never figured out what it was but it was bad. It thankfully went away with rest. Unfortunately, it seems to be coming back now that I am increasing the frequency and intensity in my training, WHY ME? Why must I always have some issue? I am so tired of it. I am tired of feeling broken. I am tired of restrictions and resting. Why can’t I just run fast and lift heavy in peace?
I am really at a loss on how to end this post. I usually try to end in an encouraging manner but to be honest, I am not there yet. If anything, this post shows you that we all have struggles. It has been a hard year for me physically but I am not going to let it stop me. I have learned my lesson (such a hard lesson to learn!) and will not push myself too hard. I have contemplated giving up and quitting the gym completely but that is never going to happen. Pretty sure my husband would not let that happen. He knows how grouchy I am when I miss the gym too much! If you have restrictions or limitations keeping you from doing what you love in your training, do not give up. Keep fighting. You know its worth the fight. To my gym buddies, please remind me to do the same when you see me struggling. I am going to need the reminder.